As power is restored to downtown Manhattan and shuttle buses become available to cart people on and off the island, Brooklyn residents are finding themselves unable to maintain the “work from home” arrangements they initiated in the wake of Hurricane Sandy.
"My office has power. Other people from the boroughs are making it in. The clock is ticking on how long I can work from home and not look like an asshole," says Michael Davidson, 27.
Though the shuttle buses take forever, can only be accessed by waiting in seemingly endless lines and are filled with people who smell bad, they’re there.
"I can get to work,” says Davidson. “It’s just a massive pain in the dick.”
Unlike Lower Manhattan, Staten Island and huge areas of South Brooklyn, Davidson and his neighbors in Northern and Brownstone Brooklyn never lost power during the storm. Also, his roommates were out of town and couldn’t make it back for a few days because of flooding. “It was great,” says Davidson, tearing up a little. “It was… Great…”
For Davidson and many like him, going back to work won’t be easy. “Not going into the office for a few days made me realize how much I dislike my job, co-workers, and life in general,” he says, finishing a beer. “I thought about meeting with all the co-workers who live near me and coming up with some story for why we can’t use the shuttle bus, but I was too busy watching ‘Cheers’ on Netflix.”
It’s back to reality for much of the city’s workforce. “I’ll just have to head into the office and pretend to work there while my luckier friends pretend to work in bars and coffee shops.”
It turns out my fear of heights is less strong than my fear of standing in a line with all of Brooklyn.
Going to a Halloween party as “The Exorcist.” I’m boring for like two hours, then I start cursing loudly and asking people to fuck me.— Brendan McLaughlin (@btmclaughlin) October 31, 2012
Those of you who know me are probably saying “Kelsey, you moved to New York a month ago. Why has this blog taken you so long to launch?!”
1. Stop putting all this unfair pressure on me.
2. It’s because I’ve spent the last four weeks extending my upper body outside of a cab window,…
My asshole sister just moved here. Follow her Tumblr. It’s the new “giving someone a turledove.”
"Why didn’t you tell me you were going out for coffee?" "Because I didn’t want you to come with me."— Brendan McLaughlin (@btmclaughlin) October 17, 2012
From a ContactMusic article on the Hulk Hogan sex tape:
pretty sure they meant Tommy Lee…
Twenty-six-year-old Christopher Lennox had an epiphany the other day while eating at a nice restaurant by himself for the first time: eating alone is “much more fun” than eating with other people.
“I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of it before,” says Lennox. “It was great to order exactly what I wanted and eat it all myself. If someone else had been there, they probably would have asked me to give them a piece.”
Lennox says that he had a great time in spite of the fact that he had no one to talk to. “I didn’t mind not talking at all. In fact, I cherished it. At one point my favorite song came on the radio, and I just sat there and listened to it. If someone else had been there I probably would have had to tune out the song listen to them talk about their day, or their relationship or job.”
He didn’t miss anyone — not even a little bit. “The whole time I kept thinking, ‘Thank God my friends aren’t here, or worse, my family.’”
The solitude also came in handy when it came time to tally up the check. “The bill was much easier to calculate because I was the one who ordered and ate everything — I didn’t have to worry about any of my cheaper friends f**king me. In the end, I was happy to pay for it all because it made me so happy.”
And the staff didn’t think he was weird for being there alone. It turns out that, contrary to popular belief, people eat alone at restaurants a lot, and it isn’t that big of a deal. “The staff and I got along great,” says Lennox. “In fact, I tipped the waiter extra for not making conversation with me.”
Lennox thinks this could be the start of a whole new way of life for himself. “For years I’ve sought out the company of others, and looking back on it all, I can’t figure out why. Most people are idiots. They disappoint you, they bother you, they ask you to do things you don’t want to do… This lunch made me realize that being alone is much better.”
And he has no regrets about the drastic shift in course his life has taken. “Going to lunch alone was one of the greatest decisions I ever made,” he says. “I had sex two weeks ago, and this was better.”
Lennox can’t wait to get out there and explore his new “lone wolf” lifestyle. “I’m excited to do more stuff by myself now. A movie, a concert… Who knows how many great things I’ve been missing out on for years because of other people?”
He then added, “I can’t wait until this interview is over so that you and I can stop talking to each other.”
As of this writing, Mr. Lennox has quit is job, moved out of his three-bedroom apartment, and thrown out his iPhone.
Today is the 50th anniversary of “Love Me Do” — The Beatles’ first single and the only song they wrote with Yoda.— Brendan McLaughlin (@btmclaughlin) October 5, 2012