I think of the first scene in this clip whenever a friend talks about setting me up with somebody. The friend behaves like Tom Hagan, laying out information about their aquaintance very mattter of factly, while I sit back and quietly decide whether I should consider “going into business” with them. And by “going into business,” I mean taking them out a bunch of times and having sex with them. 

It’s always very foreboding, and my mind seems to work like Francis Ford Coppola’s nuanced system of cuts — cutting between me in the room hearing details about the babe and then picturing her later, arriving ominously at our first meeting. Will she wear a big stupid hat like Sollozzo? Will she get mad at me later, and have me shot while I buy fruit? Good thing I never buy or eat fruit. 

There are differences though. The Godfather’s first question is, “What about his prison record?” but mine is usually, “Is she in grad school? Does she talk about it a lot? I don’t know. That sounds boring.” Also, I would never talk about laying babes in front of my son. That would ruin his life. Sonny would probably be okay with it though. At the beginning of the movie, he has sex with an unattractive woman in his parents’ shitter.

I also like how Tom Hagan “slept on the plane.” Do you know what happened right before this scene and Tom’s plane ride? A movie producer refused to oblige the Don Corleone and cast his godson in a movie, so the family had his horse’s head chopped off and placed in his bed. Tom was in L.A. proctoring that deal and overseeing its outcome. Would you be able to sleep soundly after participating in the beheading of a beautiful animal? “Hey, can you chop this guy’s horse’s head off and put it in his bed without waking him? Thanks. Yaaawwwn. I’m TIRED! Good thing I’m flying first class.”